Becoming The Perfect Husband

(This is my latest post at the Treasuring Christ  website. Please take a moment to look over the website. There are many great resources available there.)

If you take a look at my avatar you will see E 5:25. Not that you may have noticed it before, or if you have you may have just thought it was the number on the back of my favorite sports player’s jersey or something similar. The fact is that means Ephesians 5:25, a verse that gripped me a few years ago and refuses to relinquish its grasp.

Ephesians 5:25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her........

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Prom For The Young 'Uns

Day 309 in my "Year In My Life Through Pictures" blog series

We went to the park this evening to snap a few pictures of Matt and Emily before prom. They were all having a good time, joking around, striking poses, just enjoying the time. Then they were off for dinner, then to dance the night away at prom 2011.

I do not remember much about my senior prom, after all that was 25 years ago. Then Chandra's prom 4 years later all I remember is taking pictures and eating at The Pines. I only remember where we ate because I got lobster, the first time ever for me and the last time ever. Just give me a $1 McDouble any day over a stinkin' lobster. It is like another lifetime when I look back at pictures from that long ago. So many things have changed, but also so many have stayed the same.

Over the years I have gained a lot of weight, I have lost a lot of weight. I have actually lost a couple hundred pounds in my life, but I have also gained more than a couple hundred too. Chandra is still just as beautiful and I love her more now than I ever have. God has grown us together, only after he took us a part for several years. To trace God's hand in our lives is really something to think about. What is really awesome is that our marriage is actually somewhat biblical now. I really never knew God's design for marraige, even after being converted. I only learned of my role as a husband after our marriage nearly ended. I was (and still am a lot of the times) only concerned about me. What she needed to do to make me happy, what would make me feel better, feel happy. Me, me, me was my focus, even if I tried to make her happy it was self centered so that I would feel good about me even more.

Only through the trial of possible divorce did God show us what He commanded of each of us. Do we have a perfect marriage? No, but we do seek Him and we do honor Him in our marraige. We still have a long way to go to be "perfect" in our vows, but as long as our relationship with God is moving forward, then our marraige can't help but follow. Ephesians 5:25 is my goal, even though I know I can never attain that kind of love, I still look at that as where I need to be. I fail miserably, but then again I fail miserably in many other ways too and God keeps picking me up, dusting me off and encouraging me to follow Him even closer.

What an awesome God we have that He would create marraige to show us His love for us. To model our marriages after His love for the church and the church's dedication to Him is overwhelming. Through it all I must continue to move closer to Him, so that He can help me be the husband I need to be. He would not command me to love my wife in such a way, then leave me alone to figure it out. He shows me daily how He loves me, now if I could only figure that out for me and my bride.

Talk To The Hand

Day 214 in my "Year In My Life Through Pictures" series

Today marked the 15th year of life for Forrest. He chose to have dinner at Logan's and it was tasty. Be partook of the "2 for" meals they offer, which is a really good deal. Well, a good deal except they charge so much for your drinks now, like a lot of other places. I worked in restaurants for a lot of years and know that the largest profit is made from drinks. This is even using paper cups, which is the bulk of the price. Logan's uses reusable, plastic cups so their costs are even less.

Seems like greed is the American way now, for businesses and also for a lot of people. Look at restaurants and the high prices. It costs us at least $30 to dine out these days, which can add up really quickly. Also, look at food and drink prices in the grocery stores. I am a Diet Coke drinker, so I have seen the increase in pricing for them. I use to buy 12 packs on sale for $2.00. Now, I am lucky to find them on sale for $3.00. While a dollar doesn't sound like much, it is a 50% increase which translates into a lot more profit for someone.

It seems this all started about 2 years ago (guessing) when gas prices skyrocketed. Prices on other goods increased and about the same time is when they started talking about a recession and more people being added to the unemployed ranks. Then the gas falls, but everything else stays the same price. The government starts printing and spending more money and decreases the value of the dollar. Obama ushers in the "change" he talked about and started spending even more TRILLIONS of dollars. Inflation is killing people and Obama wants to continue to spend, spend, spend.

I guess what it boils down to in my life is that I need to be a better steward of the money that God has entrusted to my family. I do not manage it very well and we waste quite a bit on dining out, mostly. We do try to cut back on some things, but probably not enough. Maybe I can get a solid spending budget in order and actually stick to it. I know that it will be yet another way to seek the council of God to guide me and my family to a more God honoring way of life.

Day 122: A Blast From The Past

I have a confession before I even start typing - I did not take this picture today. I did, however, scan it today so I am using it as my picture of the day. Scanning the pictures I did today really brought back some really good memories of days gone by. The pictures I posted on Facebook were of Chandra and me back the "first" time we were together.

At the time we felt like we were going to be together forever. A little into our relationship we had Matthew and our relationship began to break down. We later split up, but remained friends through the years. Plus we had a child together, which is kind of a good reason to stay friendly. It wasn't a stretch to be friends though as I still had emotions for Chandra throughout the years. We also weren't aware that God was in direction of things either. We thought we were making our paths.

Years later we ended up getting back together and got married, something we did not do the first time we were together. I believe God knew that if we did get married it would have ended in divorce rather quickly. So, I had lived my life as a professing Christian because of a prayer I said at 8 years old and she was raised a Catholic and didn't really know anything spiritual other than what the Catholic church told her. Actually we were probably on level ground spiritually since everything I was told I have had to question over the years too. I knew the Christianese, but I was definitely not a Christian.

About 4 years into our marriage God did a work in me and actually did save me, by His grace. It was a couple of years later and a few prayer incidences of her own and God saved Chandra as well. We have both grown a lot since our conversions. The greatest part to see God work in is our marriage. We have learned through some difficult issues what an actual marriage is and how it is a reflection of the love that Christ has for His church. I was failing miserably at being a husband and father and of course I was laying all the blame on my wife. Oh, how wrong was I.

Through some time in counseling with Brother Michael and Miss Karen, we started to learn the real meaning of marriage. As we were progressing in our marriage and our individual walks with God Chandra had to have some fairly extensive surgery done. This was, to me, the time that God really solidified our marriage. He used this time, that would have normally been seen as "bad" to use it for our good. I will never forget the lives that were touched in the hospital those few weeks. God is simply amazing.

I wrote a daily journal of the time Chandra was in the hospital. It was to keep everyone updated and informed ass to what was going on. It actually ended up being a testimony to God's power as we saw miracle after miracle take place within the confines of a hospital room. None greater though than God restoring our marriage and breathing life into our relationship and understanding of one another.

There have been some really amazing turns in the past few months for us as well. None that required a hospital stay, but God has done further transformational work in both of us. So, from Chandra's 80's big hair and my 80's mullet, to the gray hair I have today, God has been active in our lives separately and also planning the convergence of our lives into one almost 8 years ago. I love Chandra more than anyone. She was given to me by God and I will never take her for granted. She means the world to me and I can't even fathom living without her. Ephesians 5:25 may be a long way off for me, but by His grace I will keep striving to love my wife as Christ loves His church.